Even though just a kitten, she carried a detailed job description when she arrived. It was clear that in exchange for purring, and never hissing or being cross, her primary duties were to be limited to sitting on chairs and beds of her choice.
She made it clear that she would have no part in chasing mice, imaginary mice or any fast moving objects. She agreed to remain an indoor cat, especially since there are no beds on the back porch, so why bother.
In addition, she promised to flash her baby blue eyes at guests only long enough for their admiration, then it would be back to holding down any moveable furniture.
She occasionally admits to taking a swipe at a chair or two, but only in passing. So, what's the problem?
In exchange, she produced the loudest purr on the planet. Her favorite occupation is to purr into the phone when people are talking. She's rather proud that some think we have a tiger in the household.
She is the social director of the household and delights in locating the one person in the group that does not like cats. She prompty occupies their lap. She doesn't seem to mind that they pet her with one finger.
Escaping outside is another favorite hobby. Even though warned about all the horrible things waiting to devour her, she doesn't think this includes her. And hiding behind the bushes while everyone is frantic is rather amusing.
She knows when she is finally discovered, everyone will be so grateful that she will be pampered and held, again. And that is the game.
So, getting cozy with Fuzz-Buzz is about as comfy as you can get.
You know, maybe Fuzz-Buzz has something going with this 24 hour sleeping schedule. Well, almost, 24 hours. We all know she sneaks off to eat. Have you picked her up, lately? Geezzzzz !
It is about things like: staying off the kitchen counter, not jumping on the tables, and most of all, not scratching chairs. What's so special about those chairs, they've had them forever.
They actually went out and bought those dumb things called "cat scratchers". Now really, I'm supposed to travel to scratch something?
Fuzz and I agreed that we'd like to make them happy and worked the scratcher over a little bit just to please them. However, we got tired of that and were soon back to taking swipes at something more convenient like the nearest chair.
This is NOT a plan !
Fuzz and I decided to destroy it as quickly as possible. That way it would be removed from the house once and for all, and we could get back to taking swipes at what we do best, the chairs.
We were each carried by all the chairs in the house. Mom didn't sound ... friendly. And I remember exactly what she said !
CHAIR NUMBER 2
"Do not scratch this chair! You may not even sit in this chair!
Fuzz and I decided we'd spend some time under the bed.
Take a look ... how cool is that?!